


No Reprieve in the Face of Pain

by Lilacblossoms (Eiliem)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Hurt No Comfort, Short One Shot, Torture, because he got that lesson beat into him, because he knows there's no stopping it, for years, nothing but torture here, of what it took to bring Bucky Barnes from a functioning human being, sort of, to a hurt husk of a man who passively accepts torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:59:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1934802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eiliem/pseuds/Lilacblossoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time they put him in the chair Bucky doesn't know what's coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Reprieve in the Face of Pain

The first time they put him in the chair Bucky doesn’t know what’s coming.

He knows it’s going to hurt  
 _he has no_  
               _fucking_  
 _idea_  
                                            everything hurts, these days, and he knows whatever contraption they’re strapping him into is just one more way they’re trying to break him. Trying to _reshape_ him, and he hates them for it.

He fights the mouthguard on principle, furious. It takes four of them to force it between his teeth, one of them pinching his nose closed to cut off his air, someone to hold his head still amid his thrashing, another holding his jaw so tightly Bucky could swear he feels his bones creaking. The last one jabs the evil piece of rubber at his mouth, trying to make it fit. He bites and tastes blood, and one of them yells. Someone backhands him so hard his ears ring.

And then there’s a hand at this throat, _choking_ him, and two hands shoved into his mouth to wrench his jaw so wide his lips crack. He sees white.

The mouthguard hits the back of his throat and Bucky gags. But the choking stops. They readjust the mouthguard and take their hands off him.

He tries to spit it out, but they’ve secured it round his head.

Someone moves down past his field of vision and the back rest drops out from under him.

There’s a whirring sound above his head.

Every hair on his body stands on end and he tries to breathe normally. Can’t help but pull futilely at the restraints holding him down.

This is going to hurt

so

much.

There’s a crackle of electricity.

And then there is nothing but pain.

\- - - - -

The second time they put him in the chair Bucky fights them like a caged animal. Desperate.

Terrified.

He kills one of the lab technicians before they manage to sedate him.

He wakes up strapped into the chair, the mouthguard already in place and wishes he’d died falling off that train.

\- - - - - -

He thought, at first. He thought Steve would find him.

Hoped.

Held on.

"The Captain did not survive the war," Zola tells him.

Tells him and smiles. And sticks another needle in his arm.

Bucky cries and does not know if he’s crying for Steve, or because rescue is never coming.

\- - - - - -

The third time they put him in the chair Bucky breaks down and begs.

Screams and pleads and promises anything.

_Anything._

_Anything._

_Please._

_Please._

_Please._

\- - - - - -

He knows, by the fourth time, that begging will accomplish nothing.

He does it anyways.

\- - - - - -

It takes him a horribly long time to break himself of the _compulsion_ to beg for reprieve in the face of pain.

It takes him. A long time.

To resign himself.

\- - - - - -

it blurs, after that

in the chair, out of it

cryo

missions

orders

_death_

\- - - - - -

The last time they put him in the chair the asset doesn’t know it. Doesn’t know anything

_except the man on the bridge_

_he knew him he_ _knew his face **he knew  
**_

but he wasn’t supposed to

 _b_  
                                                                                                          u  
                          c  
                                                                  k  
                                                                                                                      y  
          ?   
  
he’s not supposed to know anything

he’s going to be punished for it

"Wipe him"

_please please please_

He sits still as they push back into the chair. Opens his mouth for the piece of rubber that stops him shattering his teeth. Breathes.

Breathes.

Breathes.

it’s going to hurt. it’s going to hurt so much.

 _whirring, crackling -_ BREATHE -

It hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> The way the Winter Soldier opened his mouth for the mouthguard and accepted his torture haunted me from the moment I first saw the movie.
> 
> And I _needed_ answers to the questions: what does it take to beat that level of submission into a human being. How long did it take before he stopped fighting back. How long before he stopped begging.
> 
> This took me two friggin months to finish, because I am terrible and if the words aren't perfect I refuse to write (thank god for Tip of My Tongue. It took me an ungodly amount of time to remember "reprieve".)
> 
> This was first posted over at my [tumblr](http://lilacblossoms.tumblr.com/).


End file.
